this morning enid got a quote for shipping* stalin and fluffy to san francisco, and she is in shock, because it was $4,560. enid presumes that for that much cash, the dogs get to lie on goose down beds, sip a little slightly sparkling mineral water and dine on fresh game and truffles. perhaps they even get shipped* in their own private jet.
enid pointed out to the man that if they left stalin and fluffy in molvania, they could buy at least eight new puppies for that once they arrived. rather worryingly, the man immediately started discussing how stalin would manage to fend for himself on the streets of kernib, and could he have one of those cute goldendoodles?
(the consensus was that stalin wouldn’t manage very well as a street dog. he’s smart, but not smart enough not to menace small children out of their hot dogs. enid thinks he’d see the inside of a van with bars in no time.)
enid is now searching for a cheaper dog remover.
*enid thinks it’s funny we say “shipping” when we mean “aeroplaning”.