Saturday, January 20

dog removal

this morning enid got a quote for shipping* stalin and fluffy to san francisco, and she is in shock, because it was $4,560. enid presumes that for that much cash, the dogs get to lie on goose down beds, sip a little slightly sparkling mineral water and dine on fresh game and truffles. perhaps they even get shipped* in their own private jet.

enid pointed out to the man that if they left stalin and fluffy in molvania, they could buy at least eight new puppies for that once they arrived. rather worryingly, the man immediately started discussing how stalin would manage to fend for himself on the streets of kernib, and could he have one of those cute goldendoodles?

(the consensus was that stalin wouldn’t manage very well as a street dog. he’s smart, but not smart enough not to menace small children out of their hot dogs. enid thinks he’d see the inside of a van with bars in no time.)

enid is now searching for a cheaper dog remover.

*enid thinks it’s funny we say “shipping” when we mean “aeroplaning”.


Beccy said...

Ah Enid I hope you find a cheaper way to ship I mean aeroplane your dogs.

Carpetblogger said...

Enid, if you're in Kyiv and not Chisinau, I'm going to be pretty annoyed that we weren't friends.

ChrisB said...

Gosh this seems an awful lot of money hope you find a more economical flight for them.

Wendz said...

Enid must be very careful not to let the doggies know how much their aeroplaning will cost..they might get swollen doggy heads and become quite impossibly arrogant.

Sally Lomax said...

Maybe "shipping" would be cheaper!!!!

What about using an American company?

I agree with Wendz!


enid said...

thanks everyone. enid sent out lots of emails at the weekend, a couple to san francisco companies - thanks sally, good idea, so she's hoping for a cheaper quote. otherwise she'll just have to save 50% by having stalin put down.

carpetblogger, it's a real shame. enid started reading your blog just before she went to the uk on a trip, and then it was (almost) too late. if you're back in kernib (uh, she means kiev), give her a shout.

wendz, stalin is incredibly swollen-headed already. he thinks he's the biggest, bravest, most stunning looking dog in the whole of creation. fluffy is cute and timid. sometimes enid is disappointed her dogs have such standard sexual stereotypes.