a happy ending

the man is never quite sure what to say to his friends when they present him with a squealing red bundle of baby and say “isn’t she cute?” - to be honest, "cute" is not usually the adjective that crosses his mind.

enid came up with an idea. she was reading the interweb one day, and discovered that new mothers often comment on how much their new babies look like their fathers. (without being conscious of it, they probably do it reassure their husband that the child is his.) “there you go,” she told the man. “if the parents point out its big blue eyes, say then say they’re just like its father’s. the same with hair colour, or whatever they choose to pick up on.”

this morning hank phoned to say that he wouldn't come to clean today after all. at 3 am, olga had given birth to his baby - a month early.

“boy or girl?” asked the man, politely.

“boy - and his testicles are the size of melons!”

“just like his fa... uh, no...”