enid is very chuffed this evening because she’s no longer a tag virgin. yes, she’s been tagged by sally, who writes wise words about life with five husbands and a child (or was it the other way round?) enid’s fairly new to this blogging business, so she thinks it will be easy to tell you five things that you didn’t already know.
sally was inspired by babies. enid will try to be inspired by someone who looks very like a baby... the man.
(one) you might have guessed from that introduction that the man is very bald. the poor thing has been that way since the age of 21. when enid first met the man, he was just as bald but had a long, curly pony tail. with huge forbearance, enid did not comment on the disgustingness of same. luckily, the man looked in a mirror one day and decided enid should cut the offending article off. once she’d done so, he put it in a large brown envelope, and sent it to his mother - who was convinced he’d been kidnapped, and wondered where the ransom note was.
(two) enid and the man were married in 1997. they had a very small wedding, with just their family, promising their friends a big party when (if) they reached their tenth wedding anniversary. after all, they said, any old fool can stand in front of a registrar - it takes perseverance to last for that amount of time. well, in a couple of months, enid and the man will have been married for ten lon-, uh, wonderful years. (enid thinks it’s pretty safe to say this. even if she started divorce proceedings now, she doesn’t think they’d have completed by march 1st.) enid, the man and their bank are hoping that none of their friends remember this promise.
(three) enid had another boyfriend, angus, when she met the man. after she dumped angus (quite kindly, she thinks), he found out about the man, and wasn’t best pleased. one night, as enid and the man left the pub, they saw angus’s car outside, and angus inside it. the man walked across the car park towards home, while enid hung back, timidly. angus started his car, revved the engine, and drove straight for the man, who had to jump onto the bonnet and run over the roof to escape. (a few weeks later angus forgave them both, and they are all friends again now.)
(four) the man has the largest collection of music of any entity enid has ever known, including itunes. there are several albums that he has bought twice, forgetting that he’s already got them in his collection.
(five) only today, the man sent enid a love pome. (she thinks he was trying to cheer her up after the awful corporate night out.) it was the first pome she’s ever had from him that didn’t start “hippedy pippedy pop”.
(six) and since she’s just been nice to the man there, enid thinks she’ll show him up. one day at work, enid and the man were discussing expenses with their boss. “hey,” asked the man, “what does the ‘m’ in ‘per diem’ stand for?”
enid would like to tag her old chums stephen and annette of abu dhabbling. she thinks it’s only fair if they do five things each.