Monday, January 22

enid and the false leg

after banging on a bit about men’s dangly bits, enid seems to be moving on to a new obsession with unidexters.

when enid was about ten, and her brother eric about seven, their great auntie hilda and great uncle sydney came to stay. uncle sydney was a source of great curiosity because he had only one leg. obviously originally he had had two, like everyone else, but his left one was attacked by germans in the war and had to be removed. eric and enid were fascinated by the missing leg, and even more by its replacement, the false leg. what was it like, enid wondered? was it fully jointed, like a doll? plastic or ceramic? did it have toes? did it even have a foot? was a sock painted on, to save time in dressing?

finally, enid could withstand her curiosity no longer. early one morning, she rallied her troops. in the half-light, she nudged open the door of the spare room, hid behind it and sent her brother crawling into the room, directing him with whispered commands: “go on, it’s there, behind the bed.” “further!” “grab it, quickly!”

at which point they were discovered, and false leg-based antics were put a stop to for good.

to this day, enid’s parents laugh about how enid sent her poor little brother into the fray while avoiding danger herself. she likes to claim it shows early management potential, but is concerned that it’s actually prurient curiosity, combined with cowardice and low moral standards. oh, hang on, perhaps that is management potential.

5 comments:

Sally Lomax said...

Great management potential. Poor brother!!

Antony said...

I'm not sure it shows early management potential certainly it shows good negotiating ability.

cowardice...yes
low moral standards...yes

Surely all the attributes required for a successful carrer in Law?

enid said...

enid would much rather agree with sally than antony. she's very nervous that someone would think she'd make a good lawyer.

Wendz said...

But what I want to know is, what DID the leg look like? Was there a sock painted on? Did it have toes?

enid said...

wendz, enid is sorry to say that she never clapped eyes on the leg. she and eric were given a good ticking off and made to promise never to steal false legs again. unlike most promises she gave her parents, enid has kept this one.

she did go and have a google just now, and it seems you can choose knees and ankles separately, and that the legs are silicon and don't have socks on.

funnily enough, the wikipedia article on the subject was just a stub.