Sunday, February 25

of mice and men; a weekend that wasn't as planned

what enid had planned:

1. some nice long lie ins with jet lag. (enid loves west-east jet lag, because she's a morning person usually. it gives her a taste of what it's like to stay up all night with pots of energy, and then sleep in like a drugged thing, despite black russian terriers with early morning walk-wishes.)

2. meeting little miss moi on saturday night for a nice cup of tea and polite conversation. (aka getting pissed and dissing molvania a bit. oh, and handing over some vegemite.)

3. long walks with the dogs on the island

what actually happened:

1. the man woke up early every morning (see 3).

2. enid got flu and spent the weekend in the flat feeling crap.

3. it was very cold, and enid had flu (see 2).

3. the man, whose software is shipping this weekend, had a very, very bad time with his boss, hoohah. (whom they don't like anyway, because he doesn't trust them enough to co-sign their mortgage for a couple of months.) it brought it home to the man that he's not been happy for a while, thinks the company is pretty broken in many ways, and (hush! don't tell!) is considering not going to california after all. this has meant lots of lots of deciding how he feels (never easy) and they, as a couple, feel. (even harder.)

the choices are:

1. the man takes job in california, they take on a big mortgage which needs both their incomes to pay it off. if tm wants to change jobs, it's much harder than it would be in europe because he's an alien with an L-1 visa from hoohah's company. on the plus side, they have good friends there, the house is fab, the weather is like the south of france and people speak a kind of english. the percentage of shares they have in the start-up continue to grow (at the moment something like 33% have vested.)

2. the man resigns, presumably enid is sacked from his company too (she used to work there, and has shares and a retainer to consult a few days a month), and they spend the summer touring europe. enid carries on contracting for the uk company at least two weeks a month, and the rest of the time she and the man work on their next venture. (and enid already has someone who wants to co-operate with that. why is he now in new york? oh, yes, a bit because she was going to california and it was nearer than kenya. sigh.) this probably makes more sense than putting all their eggs in one basket. if they want, after six months wandering, they can re-import the hounds from hell to the uk, because they'll have been out of the country long enough.

one vote each, what do you think?


Wendz said...

I think Enid should pack up the idea of the US and travel for a while. Starting a new life in another country with so many negatives is not a very wise idea.

Nice houses don't count for much when you are not terribly happy and friends can only help so much.

Something else WILL come along. Life is like that.

Well you asked. :)

ChrisB said...

It's never good to listen to others so I'm not going to venture an opinion. I know you will make the right decision and you can blog from anywhere so what ever you decide your bloggging friends will be right there with you.
PS of course if you do decide to go to SF we might get to meet up when I visit Sam next.

Little Miss Moi said...

Dear enid. Firstly I'm sad that we couldn't share our cuppa and vegemite toast. I hope you're feeling chipper-er tomorrow.

Secondly oh dear. What a sad plight. I'm 50-50 either way - not in terms of tm staying in job and being sad, but (and I'm feeling homesick and keep thinking of our tenants who live in our dream house) it's nice to have a home. And, y'know, Full House and Just Like Heaven made SF look like fun. However, as soon as you mentioned travel, I got jelly.

Hopefully your other readers aren't pansy fence-sitters like moi...

If you want to philosophise over a strong irish coffee sometime this week, let me know.

Juvation said...

i think you should come to california, because it's a great place to be while you think about what you want to do if/when you grow up.

i'm an old burned-out US naysayer now, but everyone who moves here has a whale of a time for the first 5 years or so. one of the reasons everyone is here is because you can do anything you want within a few hours' drive - from LA to Yosemite to Vegas to Shasta to Mendocino to Carmel to Joshua Tree etc. all that new territory should provide a cure for the wanderlust for a while.

(and enid, when have you *not* wanted to take off travelling?)

IMHO the negatives are easily overcome - executives with good degrees don't have problems switching jobs (consider that even that sad old carpenter Peter "Baby" Ford got an H-1 within a few months), and if the house seems massively expensive, buy something more modest for the time being.

in grand bay area tradition, this advice will cost you $561.

tinks said...

Oh dear enid. What a tough decision to make.

From what I've read about you and the man you seem to have been planning the SF move for some time now. You also say that you have some good friends there, the climate sounds great, and I guess the man would not have to stick with the job for ever.

Then again, being stuck with a job that you hate is not fun. You both seem to enjoy travelling, and it sounds like enid has plans for something new in the pipeline (although I guess this could be followed up whichever option you take).

Hmmn. I'm sure whatever you decide will be the right decision for you both. It's a shame you have to choose so quickly, especially when you are feeling ill.

Sorry, that all really isn't much help.

Tattieheid said...

Been reading for a while, first time to comment.

Not sure if have clear idea of your position(s). It sounds like you and partner have shares/subsiduary role(s) in a software start-up company.

It sounds to me that neither of you are enamoured or can have any faith in your boss in good old USA. So why move there?

If you can travel europe and enjoy it then why think of anything else? Especially if one or both of you can rely on work being available. If you can live cheaper over here with less threat to your savings you should consider it.

They do get business start-ups over here so if you have those kind of abilities you can still progress and use existing abilities in a variety of profitable ways.

Bugger the yanks, take-over Europe!

Like your blog, I'm currently unemployed (though brilliant!) so take my advice with a pinch of salt. :)

Good luck.

Tristan said...

Visas are paperwork. Success is getting up in the morning and enjoying what you do. Follow your heart, and don't be bullied.
Its snowing here too...

enid said...

thanks all. enid loves reading your advice, even though she'll probably ignore it all in the end anyway. well, consciously, anyway.

please carry on posting...

Beccy said...

Gosh, sounds like a hard decision, to quote miss moi I also am a pansy fence sitter, the decision has to be yours and yours only for it to be the right one!

Sally Lomax said...

Oh dear.....

Hope you feel better soon.

I don't know what to suggest........

My grandmother always said if in doubt, don't........... but that can be dull.

Probably best not to ask hubby and me. When there is a financial choice we alwys think and then manage to turn left!!

elena jane said...

i'm rather a fence sitter too, and am going to suggest going where your heart leads you. even though SF is great, it's rather pricey and unless you're IN LOVE with it, the mortgage is a big negative to me.
enid and the man will prevail and do what's best of course :)

enid said...

thanks beccy, sally and elena jane. enid and the man have kind of decided...